Fuck Toy Story 3, Man.

It bummed me the hell out. Uh, spoiler alert? It's the bookend to the Toy Stories and it's about with toys going to like, toy-retirement and even at one point dealing with all the deep feelings that come with the end-all oblivion. I mean, what the fuck, Pixar? Movies are meant to be used a device for escapism . We watch movies to go someplace else and forget about the little nuances of life ie: aging, death, etc. We don't go there to have the idea implied that it's OK to just accept the uncomfortable inevitability of death. And the fact that they're showing this to kids just fucking depresses me.

What the fuck is with the entertainment industry right now? Fucking Toy Story 3, Up, Lost; all those shows are just bring me the fuck down.

Nobody else seems bothered by this. I want to see some kids movies showing alcoholism and drug abuse. Point out there's no Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or Santa. Tell them all of their dreams probably have a 96% chance of not coming true. Tell 'em it don't matter because you're just gonna kick the bucket anyway. Take it as far as you will. Why pick and choose? Why lie about anything at all? First the window and then it's to the wall.

I guess it just bugs me to have people tell me (or anybody) that it's okay to die just because we know it's going to happen one day. You know why I think people smoke cigarettes? Not because they actively want to kill themselves, but because deep down they know they're all ready dead and doing something blatantly bad to themselves, they know that they are, in fact, still alive.

I think I just dissected the point of this entire blog (see title). Congrats if you made it this far.

Top Five Magazines to Read While Pooping.

1. Esquire

-mostly quick articles like Things I've Learned (awesome); Funny Joke by a Beautiful Woman (usually awesome); and good interviewers.

2. Paste Magazine

-the reviews are good and make me feel like I still got it going on with the hip indie crowd. They're still called the indie crowd right? Not hipsters. I fucking hate hipsters.

3. Wired Magazine

-the short articles are great, informative, and sometimes funny. I love a good laugh while on the can. But mostly long informative articles.

4. ...I don't really have a fourth. maybe that one GQ issue with January Jones on it. That one's good. Yeah, that's the fourth.

5. People Magazine. My mom gives me her old issues. I like the pictures. You shut up.

Still Awake

Watching Gangs of New York. And let me tell ya, not a short movie.

Hey, you know what's great? Vernors Pop. It's super great. It reminds me of when I grew up in Canada. Before you say anything, yeah, I know it's made in Michigan. Still reminds me of Canada. Some people call in Detroit River Water. Maybe that's the secret ingredient.

Never heard of it!? Well I'll be! It's in a fancy ginger ale section of your local super market. and you can even read more here.

Ima watch this movie, smoke a cigarette, drink the rest of this can of Vernors, and dream of light and lofty clouds of happiness.

Grow Grow Grow

I used to stay up so late when I was seventeen. 1, 2, 3am, it was no big deal. I'd wake up the next morning at 8 with breaking a sweat. Then college, I'd stay up that late, only that usually assisted with some sort of drug. Post-college, sleeping became this huuuge luxury. I would crash starting around 11pm and then struggle to wake up by 9. Now I'm 26 and sleeping is the greatest thing in the world, but I can't get there until 2, maybe 3. Then waking up? Forget about it. If I didn't work for family, I'd be fucked. Waking up before 11 = impossible.